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<title>a fic in which jake comforts dirk by AcidBatteriez</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26681881">a fic in which jake comforts dirk</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AcidBatteriez/pseuds/AcidBatteriez'>AcidBatteriez</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>dirkjake oneshots [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Homestuck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, idk how to tag, maybe idk, slightly OOC, this is a vent fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:14:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>866</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26681881</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AcidBatteriez/pseuds/AcidBatteriez</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>uh dirk feels like shit and jake comes to check in on him<br/>idrk how to summarize i guess</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jake English/Dirk Strider</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>dirkjake oneshots [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1998727</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>a fic in which jake comforts dirk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>yo hi this is my first fic on here if you wanna give me criticism n such thats cool</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Your eyes sting.<br/>
Your arms sting.<br/>
Your head hurts.<br/>
Nothing feels real.</p><p>
  <i>Ding.</i>
</p><p>Oh. Someone’s trying to reach you.<br/>
You reach out for your glasses, and realize they’re just out of reach.</p><p>
  <i>Eh, if they really wanted me they would’ve tried earlier, wouldn’t they?</i>
</p><p>Another ding. </p><p>You roll over just a little bit and you’re finally able to grab them. </p><p>golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] </p><p>GT: Hello dirk!</p><p>GT: Dirk?</p><p>GT: Dirk are you there chum?</p><p>TT: Hello, Jake.</p><p>
  <i> End the conversation quickly, he doesn’t really care about you. </i>
</p><p>GT: Ah hello! I was worried i wouldnt be able to reach you.</p><p>TT: Why would that be?</p><p>GT: Er youre my pal is all i just wanted to check in on you</p><p>
  <i>Just a pal, just a friend, nothing more, you’ll never be more.</i>
</p><p>TT: Well there’s no reason to check in on me, I’m fine. Completely fine.</p><p>
  <i>Liar.</i>
</p><p>GT: Youre sure about that? You did take a while to reply</p><p>TT: Yes, Jake, I’m fine, now go.</p><p>GT: But what if i dont want to go?? I quite enjoy talking to you</p><p>
  <i>He doesn’t. He’s lying.</i>
</p><p>TT: Goodbye, Jake.</p><p>GT: But dirk!!!! :(</p><p>TT: What?</p><p>GT: Youre my best bro you know that right???</p><p>
  <i>What if I want to be more than that?</i>
</p><p>TT: Yes I do, Jake. And what’s that got to do with anything?</p><p>GT: Just checking</p><p>TT: Goodbye, Jake.</p><p>timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT] </p><p>GT: Oh....</p><p>You’re done crying now. Your arms still sting, but they’ve stopped bleeding. Your visions still blurry and your head still hurts. </p><p>“Pathetic..” you say out loud, for no one except you to hear.</p><p>You’re pathetic, everyone knows it. None of them actually like you, they’re all lying, you dont deserve any of them and never did.</p><p>You lay still, letting the thoughts overwhelm you.</p><p>
  <i>Dying would make them all happier, one less burden for all of them. They’ll be happier without you in their lives.</i>
</p><p>You curl up just a little, regretting throwing the razor you had held just moments before.</p><p>
  <i>He’ll never love you, y’know.</i>
</p><p>That breaks you, you’re crying again.<br/>
It hurts. You love him more than anything else, he’ll never feel the same way you do. </p><p>It’s been years. You’ve tried to tell him so many times. He doesn’t feel the same way at all. He ha-</p><p>There’s a faint knocking, barely being able to hear it you shrug it off to your brain playing tricks on you. Your door’s locked anyways. The only one with a key’s Jake, he thinks your fine, so it couldn’t be him.</p><p>You close your eyes tight and curl up even more. </p><p>You hear the ever so faint calling of your name, your brains tricking you again.</p><p>The calling gets slightly louder, why are you like this? Why are you so broken that some part of you thinks- <i>hopes</i> - that someone’s inside and looking for you.</p><p>You curl up as much as you can at this point, you’re all alone, you always will be.</p><p>Why do you fake hearing a knock at the door to your room? Why are you this fucked up?</p><p>“Dirk.. are you..?” Oh, it wasn’t fake.. whoever just came in had spotted you, on your bed, curled up, and crying.</p><p>You can hear them moving towards you, you force yourself to stop crying. </p><p>“Go away..” you attempt to say, but it comes out broken and shaky.</p><p>They sit on the bed, next to you, “Dirk...”</p><p>You finally realize it’s Jake. </p><p>“I said ‘Go,’ English,” it doesn’t come out any less shaky than the first time you spoke.</p><p>“I don’t think I will be going anytime soon, Strider.”</p><p>You lay there in silence, shifting away from him just a little. “Jake, please,” you feel yourself tearing up again. </p><p>He carefully picks you up, somehow, maybe it’s because you’ve been starving yourself lately, probably. He holds you, he’s hugging you, you never want him to let go. </p><p>“Dirk..” he mumbles your name again, “I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner...”</p><p>You think he noticed your arms, because he hugs you tighter. </p><p>“I’m okay, Jake,” your voice comes out a little less broken than last time, but barely. </p><p>“Dirk.. please..” he loosens his grip on you, he lets you go, you clench your mouth shut to make sure you don’t say anything that’d make him hug you again. </p><p>“I’m here now, I’m not leaving.”</p><p>All you do is fall forward, into him, you’re resting on his chest now.</p><p>“You’re okay now..” he hugs you again, it’s nice.</p><p>“Hey, look at me..” </p><p>You hesitate to, he squeezes you tighter.</p><p>“Please..?”</p><p>You look at him, his eyes are full of worry, he looks like he cried a little, he’s smiling softly at you. </p><p>He kisses your forehead.<br/>
Jake English just kissed your forehead.<br/>
The boy you’ve had feelings for, for years, just kissed you.</p><p>He starts rocking you side to side, just a little.</p><p>You go back to resting on him.<br/>
You close your eyes.<br/>
You feel safe.</p><p>“You can sleep, love, you look like you need it.”</p><p>You do as he says and fall asleep in his arms. You hope he doesn’t leave before you wake up.</p>
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